R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
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whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
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watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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