Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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