I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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