Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
