Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Boobs are out for the taking
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
