I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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