I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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