Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
