I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
