please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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