if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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