I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
