Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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