Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
