I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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