He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
