: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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