Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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