Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
