Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
