I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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