Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
