Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
