even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
