dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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