I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I currently don't understand fingers.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
