i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
