My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
