idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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