I'm gonna have a badass scar
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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