come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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