it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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