i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You can't special order awesome
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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