Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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