I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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