i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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