...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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