I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We are all done wearing pants today
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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