Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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