I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My balls are so social today.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize