I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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