Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
