More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
