All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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