why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
