They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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