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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks

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• (315): View more from New York

  A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry

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