at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i dont even know how to be here
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?