I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
then he tried to convert me to islam
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.