Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk

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  (410): I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/7pu8
  Replies (85) Good night (5624) Bad night (837)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life

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  (862): i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life http://tfl.nu/57hm
  Replies (52) Good night (1106) Bad night (7046)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.

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  (443): she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help. http://tfl.nu/37hn
  Replies (3) Good night (2310) Bad night (1104)
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  (315): View more from New York

  You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning

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  (315): You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning http://tfl.nu/dkck
  Replies (8) Good night (3687) Bad night (846)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  the wall and i were having dominance issues.

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  (614): the wall and i were having dominance issues. http://tfl.nu/itlm
  Replies (7) Good night (2608) Bad night (1944)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.

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  (806): Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early. http://tfl.nu/6dqv
  Replies (7) Good night (1405) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.

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  (719): That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive. http://tfl.nu/zac0
  Replies (8) Good night (1448) Bad night (672)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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  (814): Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uh0q
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (1181)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake

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  (815): I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/t4t1
  Replies (4) Good night (1102) Bad night (372)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.

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  (757): You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part. http://tfl.nu/w83y
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (359)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping

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  (518): I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping http://tfl.nu/cvko
  Replies (7) Good night (942) Bad night (306)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..

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  (914): So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me.. http://tfl.nu/9pe5
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.

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  (443): Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months. http://tfl.nu/088h
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water

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  (614): You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water http://tfl.nu/21tc
  Replies (1) Good night (1183) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.

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  (732): I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man. http://tfl.nu/tuk8
  Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (576)

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