Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize