your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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