I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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