I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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