Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
