Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
