in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
birth control should be required to get into college
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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