Can i not drive my cunt home
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
