Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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