No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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