I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
