I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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